People will call celebrities by ridiculous stage names that were made-up to sound more unique, but they refuse to call trans* people the names they have chosen to match their gender identity.
If you can call Nicole Polizzi by the name Snooki, then you can call a trans* person by their chosen name.
I was on my way to work, zoned out listening to some old school Shania Twain to get my life right, when two construction worker types got on the train at Penn Station. They were both middle-aged white guys with Long Island accents, mustaches, dirty jeans — the type of guys you’d expect to see on a building site. I caught a piece of their conversation when the music died before the song changed, and I decided to record them.
Normally, boring people and their boring conversations don’t interest me in the least, but the music dropped out right when Guy #1 said “My wife wants me to get fixed like a dog but I don’t see why she can’t just keep taking the pill.” That in itself isn’t inherently interesting, but the fact that he was openly discussing it on a public subway train made me hit the record button real quick to see what else would come out. I’ve been doing this for about 6 months now, trying to catch interesting things on the subway, but I haven’t had any luck so far because I ride boring trains.
Today was good though.
Guy #2: No more kids for you two?
Guy #1: No, she figures we’re both getting too old for a baby.
Guy #2: How is your boy anyway? Haven’t seen him in awhile.
Guy #1: Oh John’s good, pitching this year varsity.
Guy #2: He’ll definitely have the girls hanging around him now.
Guy #1: Yeah if he had any time for them.
Guy #2: Focused on baseball?
Guy #1: Focused on boys.
Guy #2: You’re shittin me!
Guy #1: I kid you not. Came out to me and Mary Ann bold as daylight last year.
Guy #2: Well I’ll be damned! I’m not supposed to know it but I overheard Patrick Junior tell his sister he might be gay not two months ago.
Guy #1: We all saw that coming though.
Guy #2: You’re the second person to say that. How’d everybody see it but me?
Guy #1: It was just a feelin Pat. He was always a little soft, ya know?
Guy #2: I guess you’re right. But damn Charlie, we both have gay kids. What do we do now? Both our sons are gay.
Guy #1: We don’t do anything. We let em be gay and if some kid calls em a faggot we go to their house and raise hell with the parents like normal.
Guy #2: Well I guess John and Lucinda won’t be getting together like we thought awhile ago.
Guy #1: Guess not.
Guy #2: Hey Charlie, you thinkin what I’m thinkin?
Guy #1: I was for about half a second then it got weird and I started thinkin about somethin else instead.
in that half second, a ship was born
Super Silky Summer Legs
Next time you are feeling down, about to binge, going on a date, or just need to pamper yourself, do this. I just did it and I can not stop rubbing my legs together. It feels like I paid for that over expensive pedicure at the salon.
- 1 1/4 C Sugar (Yup, plain, good-ol’ white sugar)
- 1/2 C Oil (I used olive oil, but you can use any oil, coconut oil, baby oil, canola oil)
- 3 tablespoons Citrus (Lime or lemon)
- 1-2 Razors
- Mix everything together in a bowl.
- Soak your legs in the tub for 5 minutes.
- Shave your legs.
- Rub some of this mixture all over your legs. The sugar will help rub off all dirt and dead skin. Rub, rub. Feels like a mini massage.
- Rinse it all off, shave again. I would use one razor per leg if you have two. You will be rinsing this razor a lot. I was GROSSED out by the amount of dead skin I was “shaving” off. It was insane! Trust me, you’ll see.
- Rub your legs again! Second coat of wax, oh yeah.
- Rinse off! You can use a mild soap to help get some of the oil off.
- Lotion your legs up, and feel the silkiness!
Now this isn’t just geared to ladies…. guys, if you want to get lucky, I suggest you offer to rub your ladies’ feet with this mix too. It feels awesome, and when you get lucky, you will be thanking me that her rough grandma feet aren’t cutting your legs, if ya know what I’m saying… hahaha.
I have silky arm pits too!!
Try it, I swear, You will want everyone to touch your legs.
I did this yesterday because I was feeling down, and it works great!
This makes quite a bit though, so be warned. You can use it on the rest of your skin too though, and it leaves you feeling very clean.
John Green’s taping on March 19 STILL HAVE SOME TICKETS LEFT!!
Book your ticket FOR FREE:
DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT THIS IS A THING THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?!
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, CRAIG FERGUSON. YOU COULDN’T HAVE WAITED UNTIL I APPLIED TO YOUR INTERNSHIP PROGRAM AND GOT IN TO HAVE JOHN FUCKING GREEN ON YOUR SHOW. GOD. FUCKING. DAMMIT. YOU DIDN’T EVEN WAIT UNTIL I COULD BE IN LA FOR THE TAPING.
I LOOKED UP A PICTURE OF ALL THE DUNKIN DONUTS IN MASSACHUSETTS
yes welcome to the place where people give directions based off of dunkin donuts locations
she isnt lying
You know you’re from the greater Boston area when your first thought upon seeing this map is, “Damn, I knew we needed more Dunkin’s in Western Mass.”
This is why I won’t not tip someone, even if service is less than awesome. I’m not about be responsible for someone being unable to pay their rent or buy their own food. Restaurant work is difficult, tiring, and pretty shitty, and the reality is that tipping isn’t optional. Even when your server’s being a jerk.